my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
