Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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