I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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