You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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