Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize