So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
