matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
