I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
only if we run a train.
done.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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