I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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