And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I fill condoms, not promises.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
