Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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