I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
