oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
