U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
