Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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