I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
