Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
