STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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