Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
