Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize