Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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