I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
