Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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