she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
