he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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