Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize