You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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