did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
