And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
