Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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