.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
