No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
