Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
