i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
