Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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