I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
