I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am one with the molecules
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
