I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
