I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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