I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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