pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
