i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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