Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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