how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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