hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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