its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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