I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
