she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
