first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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