That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
