You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
