yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His nipple licking is glorious
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