I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
