How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
home. puking in laundry basket.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
