I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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