your thong is hanging out like whoa
someone threw a dead crab at me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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