i just wanna soil my oats bro
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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