So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
