Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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