omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize