Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
