I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize