Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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