i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
