he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
