lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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