wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
