Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
