Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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