dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
