In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
