i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
