RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ttyl tear gas
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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