exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
