Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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