Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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