Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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