I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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